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Blazing Saddles 8:00 pm ET

Mel Brooks' 1974 Western spoof is one of filmdom's funniest flicks from one of its funniest directors. Harvey Korman is at his best as Hedley Lamarr, the corrupt attorney general who wants to gain control of the soon-to-be-valuable land in the lawless town of Rock Ridge. His plan is to send in a black sheriff (Cleavon Little) to scare the racist populace away, but of course, it isn't that easy. Madeline Kahn, Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens and Brooks himself also star.

Homeland Security USA 8:00 pm ET

It could have easily been a scripted series on a par with "NCIS" or "Without a Trace," but the Homeland Security agents featured in this new series are the real deal. In the tradition of "Deadliest Catch" and other workplace adventure shows, it focuses mainly on border patrol officers as they fight to keep unauthorized people and illegal drugs out of the country. The premiere visits them at work in Washington state and several California locations.

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 10:00 pm ET

Benson and Stabler (Mariska Hargitay, Christopher Meloni) begin to question the story of a teenager (guest star Ellen Woglom) who returns home after having been missing for four years, claiming to have been kept as a sex slave. One of the girl's sisters, who launched a Web site asking for help finding her, is relieved to see her long-lost sibling, but her other sister seems annoyed with her return. When the victim's answers don't add up, suspicion turns inward.

Jurassic Park 5:30 pm ET

The big beasties were created from dino DNA found in amber-preserved insects, and since they're (a) all the same sex and (b) confined to an isolated island with a great security system, what could go wrong? Plenty, as it turns out. Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Richard Attenborough, Wayne Knight and B.D. Wong star.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective 7:00 pm ET

Talking posteriors are not funny ... at least, not to anyone over the age of 4. And 4-year-olds should not be watching PG-13 movies. Jim Carrey is at his goofiest in this 1994 comedy as the title character, who's hired by the Miami Dolphins to track down their missing mascot, a dolphin named Snowflake. Let's hope Snowflake fired his agent after this.

College Football 8:00 pm ET

If you like scoring (and who doesn't?), the GMAC Bowl featuring offensive powerhouses Ball State and Tulsa in Mobile, Ala., should not disappoint. The two teams combined for more than 1,000 points this season, and although both teams feature quality rushing attacks, it'll be the quarterbacks who'll be front and center tonight. Nate Davis tossed 26 touchdowns for Ball State, while Tulsa's David Johnson had 43 for the nation's second-best offense.

Jumper 8:00 pm ET

"Star Trek" devotees have long known about teleportation, but the concept gets a different application in director Doug Liman's ("The Bourne Identity") fanciful version of the Steven Gould novel about people who can transport themselves anywhere. Hayden Christensen plays one such "jumper" pursued by a member (Samuel L. Jackson) of an organization determined to eliminate the travelers. Rachel Bilson and Diane Lane also star.

The Biggest Loser 8:00 pm ET

Who can diet best? The answer is determined among the contestants in this unscripted series, which returns tonight for a new season. Each team has a trainer to implement fitness and nutrition regimens and see them through the various challenges. Alison Sweeney hosts.

Frontline 9:00 pm ET

Putting a very human face on the effects of Hurricane Katrina, the new episode "The Old Man and the Storm" chronicles the efforts of 82-year-old Herbert Gettridge and his family to rebuild their homes and lives. By telling their story, it touches on the larger issues surrounding Katrina: race, class, and government policies on planning, public health and the disbursement of money.

Scrubs 9:00 pm ET

The funniest doctors on television are back to tickle funny bones on a new network, and there's a new doctor in the house. In the season premiere, Dr. Maddox (Courteney Cox) arrives at Sacred Heart as Dr. Kelso's replacement. And she's not the only newbie: J.D. (Zach Braff) has his hands full managing a new class of interns. Donald Faison also stars in "My Jerks."

The Mentalist 9:00 pm ET

Obsessed? Who you calling obsessed? In this new episode, a convicted murderer tells Patrick (Simon Baker) that he has information about Red John ... which he'll share as soon as he gets out of prison. Patrick considers this an offer he can't refuse and makes it his personal mission to prove the guy's innocence and get him out of prison, even quitting the CBI to further his goal. Robin Tunney also stars in "Red John's Friends."

Hostel Part II 10:00 pm ET

The original melodrama's big returns for minimal expense made returning director Eli Roth's 2007 sequel a no-brainer -- in more ways than one. The gender changes as young American females become the targets for a European thrill-kill operation. Lauren German, Bijou Phillips and indie-film favorite Heather Matarazzo play the students who suffer torture and humiliation. Recommended only if you like that sort of thing -- and have a strong stomach.

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